As I stocked dried pineapple bits this ‘morn at my grocery store, the big boss came over to “chat.” As soon as the words “let go” and “slow sales” exited his mouth, I coveted the wretched place I disdained only yesterday.
My boss fired me today ala Donald Trump.
I couldn’t form a sentence without tearing up like a schmuck. They hired me as a seasonal worker, but I was led to believe they haven’t fired seasonal workers in six years, due to high turnover of the regular ‘ol employees at the store. I thought I’d be safe working there and looking around for something else for the next few months. Wrong. My money stress compounded whilst I held dried pineapples in the isle of a grocery store.
My emotions attacked me. In public. I really hate it when that happens.
I said I’d be OK, and that I was upset due to insecurity about my bank account, and I understood about the seasonal thing. He walked away and I stocked some more damn pineapple bits. And by “stocked,” I mean angrily crammed them onto the shelf. I let it all marinate and the marinade turned into a steaming shit cesspool, and yeah, and I got pissed that they told me at the beginning of my shift, let alone New Year’s Eve (!) ruining my day. I told the boss a filterd version of such thoughts, as in “If you fire anyone else, let them know at the end of their shift.” Except it came out the wrong way, and I looked insane, because I couldn’t stymie my idiodic, gaspy emoting. The worst part is that the managers must have had some fucking pow wow after that and decided I was unstable. They worked the cash register next to me, peering at me like a bunch of suspicious fuck fucks.
Just 'cuz you fired me and I told you that you shouldn't fire people in the morning cuz it's mean doesn't make me an instant ax murderin' thievin' son of a gun
Just because I got a tad weepy doesn’t mean I’m going to ax up the place before I grab the cash drawer and run for the hills.
I’m also sad ’cause Backroom Betty and the other kooks working and shopping there held a lot of potential for ridicule and also inspiration. A mom even sort of restored my faith in American parents today. She hauled her two kids-a five and a two-and-a-half year old- through the store, buying over $200 worth of groceries. They were well behaved and cute in line, singing me both the Jingle Bells original and the Jingle Bells Bat Man Smells version. Then their ma helped me bag and refused help to the car. “This was a big errand,” I told her. “You did a good job today.” I wanted to make her feel good even though I felt like shit. I wanted her to know that I appreciated her precious fuck fucks, because they weren’t fuck fucks, they were just precious. And they cheered me up. Anyway-mommying-talk about a thankless job.
Goodbye, grocery store! It’s hard to Recession Proof myself when I can’t find or keep a job. Aw well. I’m meeting with my old editor next week. He got canned,too, from the crumbling newspaper biz. Then he found a good government job in the Chicago Machine. Maybe he’ll have some suggestions. Mark’s got an interview, next week, too. Could it be true that “When one door closes, another opens”? Let’s hope so!
Here’s to being divine in 09.
1 Comment
March 11, 2009 at 1:52 am
[...] endowments. My position is on the chopping block. I took the news a lot better than I took getting fired at the grocery store on New Year’s Eve, though. No angrily shoving anything onto shelves. No teary walk [...]